jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home

flutterlings:

the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”

boygrimlark:

scout-ebubbles:

docot:

freddybenson:

leovaldezstyle:

freddybenson:

A

B

C

the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours

D

E

elementglimmer:

Remember: It’s not a real project until it draws blood.

It’s not a real project yet.

elementglimmer:

Let’s play the, “How badly can I fuck this up and still get away with it?” game. 

It’s a fun game, 10/10 starts, would recommend.

elementglimmer:

Fun Fact: pinning fabric on a soft surface, (i.e. a bed) is a shitty idea.

Don’t do it.

llbwwb:

Wolves: Mom and Pup by Wolfman.

anywherebuttheelectricchair:

fandomblogger:

memewhore:

So I wonder, if you put enough rubber bands around someone’s head…

THIS WEBSITE IS MADE UP OF PSYCHOPATHS AND DRUGGIES I SWEAR

whimsicalspecks:

akitron:

buttlarious:

tumblr is boring today better go check tumblr

 #I literally get bored and close tumblr only to reopen tumblr

helioscentrifuge:

helioscentrifuge:

helioscentrifuge:

my little sister said i should get a job with tumblr staff to help pay for her going to college

and i was all like ‘hey i don’t have the skills to improve tumblr’

and she just looks me dead in the eye and says ‘it’s not like they do either’

i’m just sitting here in amazement like

so i just told her that this post has like seven thousand notes and she literally cackled like a disney villain